my life feel empty. had this feeling after chatting with my friend last nite over a plate of honey coated tissue prata. My friend, being the ever "good" christian was telling me - i need to go church so that GOD could show me the way. Is HIM really the reason to be?
Was thinking about it on the way back after watching the France - Swiss match. I managed to dissect my thoughts into many parts. I think i am really a good science teacher.
1. Religious point of view
As a free thinker, maybe i feel empty because i feel that i lacked guidance or a strong faith that would "show me the way to live." But whether to be a christian or buddhist or any other remains to be seem. I had a lot of bad experiences with people from the christian faternity before yet i do see myself becoming a christian due to my childhood experiences in a sunday school. However, the more i read about buddhism, the more i am able to relate to it as it is my personal belief that the teaching of buddha is guiding us to become a good person.
2. Lack of a better half
I think i need a soul mate - a gal. I am keeping my finger crossed that i am able to meet one in NIE soon. Comeon! i am just looking for a intelligent, confident, independent, sporty and pleasant looking gal who dun mind my crudeness, frankness and horniness! Is it that really so hard to find?
3. Lack of accomplishment
seriously, what have i achieved so far? Nothing that i could be proud of! I reckon it is due to my lack of perserverance.
4. Lack of good company
I have problem communicating with people at times. I tend to loss focus and get bored very easily. Therefore, sometimes, i feel i have no friends to talk to when i am undergoing an emotional breakdown. However, i am also brought up in a manner that i try to deal with my own problems.
Four points, hmm...come to think about it, i may not be good at dissecting my problems after all. I am so lonely...
Sometimes, i wondered when i looked out at my window, whether it is just me or there's really a lot of single people looking out and staring at the night skies and totally clueless how they are going to spend their next day. Sometimes, i get so bored i find myself sighing and realized i got nobody that i could call or talk with. The funny thing is i used to have no problem doing so when i was younger. I was not brought up during the handphone era. I used to have a book when i wrote down the addresses and home phone number of my friends. It was such a hassle talking to friends back then as i probably have to fight the rights to use the phone from my family members. Yet, when i have msn and hp now. I find myself talking lesser and lesser to people.
Have we all really becoming too self-centred, keeping everything to ourselves and retreating into our own "solace" without realising it?
Was thinking about it on the way back after watching the France - Swiss match. I managed to dissect my thoughts into many parts. I think i am really a good science teacher.
1. Religious point of view
As a free thinker, maybe i feel empty because i feel that i lacked guidance or a strong faith that would "show me the way to live." But whether to be a christian or buddhist or any other remains to be seem. I had a lot of bad experiences with people from the christian faternity before yet i do see myself becoming a christian due to my childhood experiences in a sunday school. However, the more i read about buddhism, the more i am able to relate to it as it is my personal belief that the teaching of buddha is guiding us to become a good person.
2. Lack of a better half
I think i need a soul mate - a gal. I am keeping my finger crossed that i am able to meet one in NIE soon. Comeon! i am just looking for a intelligent, confident, independent, sporty and pleasant looking gal who dun mind my crudeness, frankness and horniness! Is it that really so hard to find?
3. Lack of accomplishment
seriously, what have i achieved so far? Nothing that i could be proud of! I reckon it is due to my lack of perserverance.
4. Lack of good company
I have problem communicating with people at times. I tend to loss focus and get bored very easily. Therefore, sometimes, i feel i have no friends to talk to when i am undergoing an emotional breakdown. However, i am also brought up in a manner that i try to deal with my own problems.
Four points, hmm...come to think about it, i may not be good at dissecting my problems after all. I am so lonely...
Sometimes, i wondered when i looked out at my window, whether it is just me or there's really a lot of single people looking out and staring at the night skies and totally clueless how they are going to spend their next day. Sometimes, i get so bored i find myself sighing and realized i got nobody that i could call or talk with. The funny thing is i used to have no problem doing so when i was younger. I was not brought up during the handphone era. I used to have a book when i wrote down the addresses and home phone number of my friends. It was such a hassle talking to friends back then as i probably have to fight the rights to use the phone from my family members. Yet, when i have msn and hp now. I find myself talking lesser and lesser to people.
Have we all really becoming too self-centred, keeping everything to ourselves and retreating into our own "solace" without realising it?
posted by X at 9:15 AM
1 Comments:
my my..you have become more reflective. and congrats..your grasp of the english language has improved. result of being a teacher perhaps? =p
you're not the only one who stares out the window wondering what's your next step gonna be. Others do that all the time, myself included. Though I usually just stare into space...
ok, am starting to crap I know..
Anyway, do take a look at Ultraman's friendster pics..hmm..interesting...
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